Talking to your younger self

Transcript:

Emily

Hey there, my name’s Emily Hines, and I work at ALSAC, the fundraising and awareness organization for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. I’m on the social marketing team, so I do a lot of things online. But I always love getting to meet our supporters in person. I sat down with four of them recently, to get to know them better. I asked them some questions and let them talk amongst themselves, and what they said was amazing.

In this episode, they’re answering the question, “What would you tell your younger self if you could?”

You’ll hear from Keeley. She’s a graduate of the St. Jude Leadership Society.

“I should never complain again. Like seriously.”

And you’ll hear from Ronni, she’s in Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated.

“Drink a juice box, go watch some TV, like you’re fine.”

And Chris is with us, too. He works for the fraternity Tau Kappa Epsilon.

“There’s a mindset there that I think is really exciting.”

And first we’ll hear from Kaia. She’s also a Zeta Phi Beta.

Kaia

I’d probably tell myself to not dull my shine for anybody else. I feel like, just growing up, there are a lot of things that could make you want to curl up into a ball and just kind of be like, No, I'm just going to let other people do their thing. And I realized as I got older that when you know your worth and you know your value, no one else can question it. And what I have to bring to the table, it holds a value. And just to know that you have to nurture yourself as a young child because you hold onto that. I've noticed that I've held onto things that have been said to me, told to me, and things that I've learned that I was younger. And sometimes they just pop out like something will just trigger that memory. And I'll be like, wow. And I just have to know that, look, the little kid in me is loving the person that I am right now. And if I could go back and tell her, You're going to grow into an amazing person, but you have to stay on the path that you're on, don't let anybody dull you. Don't let anybody tell you that your opinion is not valued because it is absolutely 100% not true.

Keeley

I think for me, I would say: somebody always has it worse than you. It doesn't matter if you don't like what your mom and dad put on the dinner table and are forcing you to eat and that's what you're going to go sit in your room and cry about all night, because that's happened to me a few times back when I was younger. A long time ago, right? Long time ago. But things like that, just having that in the back of your head that, seriously, what people are going through. And like walking around right now and just seeing the kids and seeing the parents and hearing their stories, it's like I should never complain again. Like, seriously. And it makes me want to serve more because it's so crazy to see how lucky and grateful I am to have what I have and then to be here and to see all the things that we're getting to see. It just motivates even more to show other people that you're living the life right now. You know?

Chris

I heard a quote just last week that good friends consume with each other and great friends create together. And that has been resonating for me. And I want to talk with each of my kids about it when I get back. But really thinking about that, and especially with everything going on nowadays in terms of video games and just the passive, sit and, you know, there's certainly time for that, but there's a balance too. And doing something where you're actively building something and making something happen or talking about new ideas and what's next rather than just talking about what was and what we did last time. There's a mindset there that I think is really exciting, and I wish I'd been more intentional about that myself. You know, back in the day

Ronni

I think the biggest piece of advice that I would give, like my younger self is just to breathe, honestly. Just take a deep breath, girlie. Like, come on, relax. I feel like as a kid, I felt like I had to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, like, Girl, relax. You’re 8. Go erink a juice box. Go watch some TV, like you're fine. But even my high school self, I’d just tell her, Take a deep breath. I feel like especially when it came to grades or school or getting into a good school, I felt like I was always just so focused on those things that I think I let a lot of different opportunities pass me by because I was like, no I need to study for this class or I need to get this grade on this test. Relax, like it's fine. Go get some ice cream with your friends. Like, just enjoy this space that you've been put in and the people that are around you. And I'm glad that I've learned it now. And now I take so much pride and peace in just knowing what's good for me in the moment. And especially when I come to places like this and I see people talking about time, about how I got five more years with my loved one, I got five more years with my daughter, I got five months. And I'm thinking, Oh, in five months, I just assume, you know, that I'm still going to be here. In five months I'll be doing this or in five years I'll be doing this. But I never think, what am I doing right now? What am I taking time to do right now that's actually making me happy and making me enjoy life? That's something I'm glad that I've learned now.

Chris

And that's a struggle that can keep on going for years. I still think of the same things, and I think the key is balance. When I've struggled most and when I've seen friends struggle most is when they get way out of balance with those kinds of things taking time for themselves. Staying in touch, you know, putting time into what they want. But it's finding that balance along the way.

Kaia

I agree. I also want to touch on something that you said when you said someone always has it worse. I love that quote. But. Well, hold on. I've been working on this. I love that quote. And. Yes, and. I love that quote. And I think it's also very important to validate your own feelings. Well, of course, when you're crying about peas or pizza, that's a bit different. But I’ve learned, well, I am still learning today that it’s very important to validate my own feelings. So even though it may seem small to me in that moment, my feelings are big. Two things can be true at the same time. Someone can have it worse than you, and this moment can be devastating to you. So, you can remind yourself in the moment that somebody has it worse than me. Just to make sure that you don't dwell on that moment and be like, okay, I feel my feelings, I validate my feelings and I know why I'm feeling this. Someone has it worse than me so let's not dwell on it. Let's feel it, and maybe give yourself an hour a day, two days, however you feel is necessary to move past it and then do exactly that. Move past it.

Keeley

Right. I like that.

Emily

Those words ring true to me – because I was a St. Jude patient when I was younger. Everyone is dealing with their own struggles, and your feelings are real. There’s a lot more to this group conversation – listen to the other episodes of the podcast or watch the videos at stjude.org/connections or you can find it on the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital YouTube channel.

You can also learn more about the St. Jude Leadership Society and our relationships with Zeta Phi Beta and Tau Kappa Epsilon. And while you’re on our site, consider supporting St. Jude. It means so much to me and everyone else who’s been personally affected by the community of giving that makes this place possible.

St. Jude Connections is a production of ALSAC, the fundraising and awareness organization for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. It was recorded by Jason Latshaw, Dan Yohey, and Nathan Black. Produced by Geoffrey Redick. Edited by Grace Korzekwa Evans. I’m Emily Hines, thanks for listening.

api.spreaker.com/v2/episodes/59008497/download.mp3